Flappable vs Unflappable

Over the past few weeks, I watched with amazement has Scottie Scheffler and Nelly Korda won major golf tournaments on the PGA and LPGA Tours and while I wasn’t shocked that each of them won the tournament, it was how they won their tournaments that amazed me.  I was surprised at how unflappable they both were during their individual tournaments.  Neither one of them let a bad shot or bad hole affect them has the moved forward and in Korda’s case, she struggled a bit down the stretch, but you would have never known that she was struggling by watching her play.  She remained focused at all times and let what happened in the past stay in the past while moving forward.  Needless to say, both Scheffler and Korda both won and got me thinking how watching Scheffler and Korda could help young athletes become as unflappable as they are.

            Many times, while coaching, especially baseball, I’d watch a child on the opposing team melt down on the field because of something that happened during the game…a teammate made an error while they were pitching, they may have walked a batter or a player on their team was perceived to be not a “good” player and at that point I would look onto the field and say to myself  “game over, we’ve won” all because a child couldn’t control their emotions.  Now, I realize that comparing Scott Scheffler and Nellie Korda to 7 through 12-year-old children is a huge stretch but one has to think what made both Scheffler and Korda so unflappable?  Was it their parents? Coaches? Other teammates? Siblings? or something else….

            Now we all know that children can be emotional, and, in most cases, they don’t know how to control/channel that emotion.  Getting angry during a sporting event is not necessarily a bad thing.  If channeled properly, anger can be used to an athletes advantage; however, most 7 through 12-year-old children don’t know how to channel their anger into something positive which usually leads to issues for the child and ultimately the team.  In a June 2, 2023, article written by Brian Baxter entitled “How to Deal with Extreme Emotions in Your Athletes” Mr. Baxter states that “an essential element of sport psychology is dealing with the emotions that come with competitive athletics. Whether you are an athlete, a coach, a referee, a parent, or a fan, the higher the level of competition, the higher the emotional level can become. And the higher the emotional level, the more important it becomes to control and manage those emotions.”  Additionally, Mr. Baxter goes on to say “There are some emotions that athletes identify that sometimes help and sometimes hurt their performance. Among them: aggressiveness, caution, stubbornness, and surprise. But by far, the most common is anger.  Athletes describe it this way: “Sometimes I get angry, and it makes me focus and play better. Sometimes I get angry, and it makes me play erratic and out of control.  That is important information to know, and to devise a plan to make sure you harness your anger for positive, instead of letting the anger control you and your actions.”

In the article Mr. Baxter goes on to discuss a list of questions that the athlete and parents/coaches should ask regarding an athletes emotion:

·      WHO ARE YOU ANGRY WITH?  This is a big factor in whether anger is good or bad for performance. Typically, if the anger is directed inward towards yourself, that could result in higher work rate and focus if positive self-talk is employed. Or it could result in lower work rate and withdrawing from the game if self-talk is more negative. That being said, athletes need to use positive self-talk.  If you are angry at someone else — opponent, referee, coach, etc. — that rarely works in your favor. This typically leads to lack of effort and to reckless and unsportsmanlike behavior. Athletes should be able to re-focus their anger away from someone who is not in their control and toward something positive, and controllable.

·      TO WHAT DEGREE ARE YOU ANGRY?  Are you just a little mad, or do you become irate or enraged? The difference being how in control of the emotion you are. Being enraged could mean the anger is too intense and can control you. Athletes can use positive self-talk and circle breathing as a way to calm their emotions to manageable levels.

·      WHEN DO YOU BECOME ANGRY?  Is it after a mistake, a perceived bad call, or an opponent talking trash? Know yourself and your tendencies, and the situations in which you are likely to become angry. Having a pre-performance routine to prepare is a very helpful sport-psychology tool.

·      WHY ARE YOU ANGRY?  Typically, it is because you are focused on the wrong thing. You are focused on something you cannot control. Mentally tough athletes focus on the controllable aspects as much as possible, and have tools to re-focus when they get distracted.

·      HOW DO YOU HANDLE (Manage) YOUR ANGER?  The question may not be: “Will you get angry?” More likely, “How will you manage yourself when you get angry?” Using sport-psychology techniques that you have practiced and honed until they become second nature is the way to go. Here are the sport psychology techniques that I have mentioned above:

·      PRE-PERFORMANCE ROUTINES. This is a mental warm-up, with action items for athletes to check off before starting practice or competition. It can include going over goals, visualization, positive self-talk, listening to music, and more. The goals are to clear the mind of distractions and to perform with a positive mindset and confidence.

·      POSITIVE SELF-TALK. Also referred to as “self-coaching,” this technique is a way for athletes to look at any situation in a positive light. Athletes can coach themselves up by focusing on the right things, being optimistic, and circle breathing — one of the simplest and most effective sport-psychology techniques. This is a slow, deep, controlled breath in through the nose and out through the mouth. It is a way to calm your mind, body and emotions, so that you can make good decisions.

·      RE-FOCUS ON WHAT YOU CAN CONTROL. You can control attitude, effort, preparation, and the present moment. These are factors that sports participants have 100 percent control over and are less likely to be stressed or let anger turn negative. The ability to re-focus your attention on the right thing at the right time is a key element in controlling anger.

While watching Scheffler and Korda play and win their tournaments I could picture both of them asking and answering these eight questions following a bad shot, a bad hole, or a series of bad holes, making the necessary corrections and in the process not letting their emotions get the best of them.  In an article written by Janis B. Meredith entitled “How to Teach Children to Control Their Emotions in Youth Sports”, Ms. Meredith sets out four ways to help a young athlete tackle negative emotions as they arise, and they are as follows:

·       Give them permission to be upset – telling them not to get upset is not going to help. Instead, acknowledge their anger or frustration and let them know that letting negativity control them will only hurt their game.

·       Create Awareness Around Actions – Shoot video of the game and show it to them later.  They may not be aware of their actions but if they see their actions they can reflect on it and choose to respond differently next time.

·       Help Form a Plan – work with your young athlete to devise a plan that can help calm them in the heat of any moment.  Some examples are counting to 5 and/or taking three deep breaths.  This will serve as a reminder to help refocus, and

·       Help Pinpoint Why? – if your youth athlete is a perfectionist, they may have a tendency to be more emotional as perfectionists have a great work ethic that drives them, but they also have unrealistic expectations and can get angry about mistakes.  You need to coach your child through understanding the “why” behind their actions; it can help move them toward more positive solutions.

These 4 tools are a great way to help a young athlete refocus themselves not only on the field of play, but in life.  According to NCAA statistics fewer, than 2 percent of NCAA student-athletes go on to be professional athletes,  meaning that today’s young athletes will one day transition into the workforce and the skills listed above can be used in the workplace as they will be handling adversity on a daily basis and what better way to handle that adversity then having tools in the toolbox to help them navigate tough times and make themselves unflappable.