Observations From Different Facebook Posts

As many of you know over the past few weeks I have been sharing different posts regarding youth sports on my Facebook page. These posts are usually advice for parents, coaches and/or players regarding youth sports, most of which are lessons that can also be used long after they leave the field of play. The posts that I find most interesting are from Next Up, The Baseball Dudes, Florida Fastpitch Softball and Coach Lisle and over the past two weeks or so I have found a few that I thought were very interesting and I would like to look at them as they relate to youth sports.

I first one that I would like to write about is from Coach Lisle and it is as follows:

Five ways to show players a matter:

1. Be prepared when they show up;

2. Let the session flow, allowing them to make their decisions and mistakes;

3. Give specific feedback;

4. Listen to understand, not to rebut; and,

5. Thank them for their work.

Now, I agree with all five of the points listed above; however, number two is the one that sticks out the most for me. For a while when I was coaching youth soccer I was actually micromanaging and not coaching; however, didn’t realize that I was until one particular day. I was constantly stopping practice, especially during scrimmages, to make corrections and give general feedback as to what I SAW and what I THOUGHT SHOULD BE DONE WITH THE BALL. Then one day during the scrimmage part of our practice, a parent was talking to me so my attention was divided between the parent and the scrimmage (which I should have never let happen). Well, lo and behold, while I was watching and not coaching (which I shouldn’t have been doing) the team was playing and incorporating the skills that we had practiced earlier that day (along with skills they learned in earlier practices) without me totally micromanaging what they were doing and more importantly, they were helping each other and discussing what THEY SAW when something happened during the scrimmage. Well needless to say I was happy, and learned a valuable lesson all at the same time. I realized that the team didn’t need me dictating their every move they made. Well after this revelation I spent less time trying to dictate every one of their moves and more time letting the scrimmages and games flow and if I thought something went wrong, I would ask the player what they saw and why they did what they did, and I would either make a correction (if necessary) or, leave it alone if I liked the answer that I received. I feel that once I started letting the players play I became a better coach so my advice to youth coaches is to let the players play and stop practices only when necessary.

The next post that I found interesting was put out by The Baseball Dudes and went as follows:

· Coaches: we CANNOT get starstruck. We CANNOT treat the more talented differently than everyone else. When we allow behavior from them we wouldn’t stand from others, WE ARE instilling entitlement in that person. Zero tolerance, rules, consequences must apply to EVERYONE.

This post is so true. I have seen time and time again where youth sports coaches have treated more talented players differently than other players on the team. Now, at a very young age the players might not notice this; however, as time goes on the supposed “lesser players” will notice and will get upset and possibly. When I was coaching youth soccer one of my better players was sick and unable to attend a game, all the players who were there got upset and told me we were going to lose. So, I asked “why do you think we are going to lose?” to which they responded “because so-and-so isn’t here.” I told them that “this is a team and no one player is more important than another". Well, if we didn't go out and win that game. Too many times I see youth coaches coaching the “better players” while the perceived “lesser players” are left to their own devices, yet when the “lesser player” makes an error or a mistake, the coach yells and screams at them because they are being held to the same standard as the “better” players, regardless of the fact that they really aren’t being coached. This has to stop. Youth sports coaches have to coach and treat ALL players on the team equally, regardless of skill level or ability.

Another Coach Lisle post is as follows:

· Your value as a coach is not dictated by your qualifications, winning record, or how passionate you tell everyone you are. It’s in your ability to consistently impact and improve the performance of those you lead.

My goal in coaching was to have every child on my team sign up to play the following year. I always felt that if I impacted a child, ensured that they were part of the team and coached them up, they would want to come back to play another year. Now, I’m not going to say that I had 100% retention rate as I lost some players because they weren’t interested in playing the sport anymore, found other interests or sports that they liked better, or they just didn’t like youth sports. I came to the realization that it was okay if a child did not come back to play and I did not get upset because I couldn’t control what other parents were doing with their children; however, that never changed my goal. My advice to youth sports coaches is to make sure that you, as the coach, ensure that you are impacting and improving your players performance and not worrying about your “winning record”.

The last post that I found very interesting because it is near and dear to my heart and it is overlooking of the “little guy” and it is from Nick Buonocore from Hit Run Steal and that is as follows:

· Everyone who’s played sports at a fairly high level has stories of kids who are the biggest and best at 10, 11 and 12 years old only to have those kids quit playing by high school. If you were undersized, stay in the fight and keep competing… when your body catches your heart, it’s on!!

Too many times the “biggest/best” kid when they are young are later the 16th man on a 15-man team or worse, they quit because the “little guy” grew into their body, learned the skills necessary to play the sport and more importantly they gain the confidence needed to compete against the “biggest/best” players. Many times, the “better” players may have older siblings who played sports with them at a young age giving them a decided head start over other children in their age group who don’t have anyone to guide them before they join an organized league. So, in my opinion, the “bigger child” has a decided advantage over someone playing a sport for the first time. Many times, in my youth sports coaching career I saw youngster who was small, timid, had no confidence and in some cases were just afraid come into a league that I was coaching in, yet after four or five years they grew (both physically and mentally), they worked harder than the “bigger/better” kid, and most likely wanted it more. This post could go hand-in-hand with the “not getting star struck” post from The Baseball Dudes. As a coach, you have to coach the “bigger/ better” players as much as you coach the perceived (notice how I say perceived) “smaller/lesser” players. I once coached a little guy in soccer who fit this description. Although, he wasn’t the smallest player on my team he could be a bit timid at times yet I continued to push him and I constantly worked with him on his skills because I saw that he had the ability and this built his confidence to a level where by the second year I was coaching him he grew into a stronger player who developed the necessary confidence to compete at a higher level. Watching this little guy develop was one of my happiest moments in my youth sports coaching career and he has now grown into a fine young travel soccer player who I hope will continue to play high school soccer next year.

The purpose for discussing these posts is that they are all based on common sense yet, I still see and hear stories of coaches who are treating 7, 8 and 9 old’s like they are coaching the New York Yankees (or since I’m a Mets fan the New York Mets… LOL), The Lakers or Real Madrid. It’s time that we, as the adults, take a step back and look at what we can do to make youth sports more enjoyable for our young athletes, while more importantly teaching them the necessary skills to succeed later in life, once their sports careers are over.