The Post Game Handshake

A few weeks ago, I wrote a blog about a “violent” weekend in youth and high school sports.  The violence occurred in a high school soccer and a high school football game where the players got into it on the field. The disturbance then spilled out onto the streets around the field with the parents and a final incident where parents fought in the stands of a pee wee football game.  The next week there was a high school football game that was stopped early due to a fight between the teams causing one of the teams to have to play in a playoff game shorthanded as 16 players were suspended for their roles in the fight.  Amazingly the team with the 16 suspended players was allowed to continue playing as the rule regarding fighting during a game causing a team to be disqualified from state playoffs only comes into play during the regular season so if a team has a fight during the playoff the state of New Jersey allows them to play on.  The one incident I wrote about occurred following a Saint Benedict’s/Saint Peter’s soccer game on the handshake line and players were suspended from Saint Benedict’s; however, they still have been allowed to play in the state playoffs.  It’s the last incident that brings me to this week’s blog, the post-game “handshake” line.

In a recent article on NJ.com written by Keith Sargeant entitled “It’s a sacred tradition, New Jersey coaches want it gone after shocking violence,” Mr. Sargeant states coaches are starting to rethink the post-game “handshake” line due to the issues that can develop in the line.  According to the article, the incidents I have mentioned above have “prompted some in high school sports circles to seriously question whether post game handshake lines should continue.  The Saint Peter’s Prep Athletic Director has gone as far to say the “handshake line should occur BEFORE the game and not after.” The New Jersey State Interscholastic Athletic Association (NJSIAA) believes in the post-game handshake and even mandates it as part of its annual coaches’ handbook.  “The NJSIAA strongly believes the handshake at the end of every interscholastic contest is an important part of sportsmanship,” the mandate reads. “The NJSIAA’s stance is that it highlights a critical lesson for student-athletes and coaches while demonstrating respect and integrity regardless of the outcome. Walking away from the handshake due to a tough loss sends the wrong message, suggesting that poor sportsmanship is acceptable in the face of defeat.” 

While the NJSIAA has good intentions, the post-game handshake may be a bit out dated.  In a memo last year, the National Federation of State High School Associations, the national governing body for scholastic sports, issued a statement to its thousands of member schools suggesting that security personnel be stationed “in close proximity to the handshake line.”  It’s a warning that administrators and coaches are taking seriously, according to coaches and athletic officials.  So, the National Federation of State High School Associations recommends that security personnel be stationed in close proximity to the handshake line and the state of New Jersey has no intention to review the “post-game" handshake….one has to wonder why?

            Years ago, while taking a soccer refereeing class, the referee trainer was advocating against the post-game handshake and in some cases went against conventional wisdom and had the teams shake hands prior to the game.  He stated his rationale for this was he had refereed quite a few games, where rival towns/cities, took the games way too seriously causing the post-game handshake to become tense and in some cases leading to fights, usually between the parents, but a fight nonetheless.  While listening to this gentleman speak I wholeheartedly agreed with him.  When I was playing youth/high school sports many years ago, I hated having to go through a post-game handshake line, especially following a loss.  The last thing I wanted to do was to say “nice game” following a loss.  No, it wasn’t a “nice game” …we lost and there was nothing nice about it.  While coaching baseball, following one of our games, a player on the opposing team claimed that one of our players punched him while doing the handshake.  As luck would have it, the child’s mother was an attorney and she threatened to sue if our player was not suspended, which the league caved to and did.  This suspension caused the parents to pull his brother off our team causing us to lose one of our better players and truth be told, NO ONE saw any punch being thrown.

            While I am a proponent of sportsmanship I am also of proponent of eliminating as much of the fighting and violence as possible in youth sports and asking children, who sometimes do not have to emotional stability to go through a line, shake hands and say “good game” after an emotional game, win or lose, is maybe too much for us to ask for.  In my previous career I attended many trainings discussing brain development and one of the last trainings I attended the presenter stated the human brain is not fully developed until you are 25 years old, so we are asking young athletes who still have developing brains to act like adults when going through a post-game handshake line, following a possible emotional game.  Keep in mind that none of the professional sports have post game handshake lines (hockey does, but only in the playoffs and only after the last game of a playoff series) so why are we asking children to do something that adults do not do.  I for one am starting to advocate towards eliminating the post-game handshake and do a pre-game handshake instead.